Recently my best friend, Courtney called me up after she sent me a text, which read, “can you talk?”
When she sends me these texts, it usually means she has a particular topic of conversation mind, so when she called me after I responded that yes I could talk, I asked “what’s up?”
“Not much really.” She told me the kids went with their dad for dinner (she, like me, is divorced). “Now I know why I had so many kids, when they leave I don’t know what to do with myself. You know what I mean. Don’t you ever get bored?”
I had to think about her question for about .00000001 tenths of a second. The answer is no, I never get bored. I’m an emotional person,and I get a lot of things. I know sadness, depression and despair. I’m a lover of life, and passionate, and easily excited. I laugh like an idiot on a regular basis, I once came up with eight different renditions of the Scooby Doo theme: opera style, Spanish accent. Country…,I’m a perfectionist in thought who suffers from ADD. Bored is not an emotion I recognize, but I have to say I’m not opposed to say a casual date, as long as boredom is paying. I’d say this is unlikely from my clinical knowledge of boredom- he seems like the type that doesn’t care to impress. On top of not being naturally inclined to be bored, I have a to do list. I will let this weeks’ speak for itself.
May 11th to do
1. Find and interview for a paying Job with benefits because I have neither income, nor healthcare.
2. Finish editing the first fifty pages of my book to send to my potential agent, who requested them. Actual work involved here- no pay- benefit, I cling to sanity for a little while longer. Should I re-evaluate compensation package, and do a cost benefit analysis of this job? No. I love it too much.
3. Purchase a working vehicle. The 2008 Honda is worth 4500, and needs 2000 of repair. Likely it will not last long enough to justify the expense, and it has no air-conditioning, which to fix would cost almost as much as a new car. Need to find an honest car dealership,and salesman to give me a good, honest deal.
4. Recover from fit of hysterical laughter over last line of item #3.
5. Complete three freelance assignments, so that I make some money, and also add credits to my nearly non-existent writer resume.
6. Go to the gym to give my mind a rest. Only when I run faster than I think, while listening to music, can I escape the constant barrage of my thoughts.
7. Figure out how I’m going to find, and obtain a home, where all of my kids and I can live together.
8. Clear up some erroneous information on my credit report, which I found while reading credit karma.
9. Cook, pay bills, mother, and try to come up with a summer vacation plan for the kids.
10. Write this blog, on twitter, and wait on my writers in residence: ShirleyJacksonCat, and Mr. Burrows.
I know I can do it all. At 39 years old, I knew zip about a stock or bond,but scored in the mid eighties less than two months later on my licensing exams(series 7 and 63) to become a broker. I found and rented a house, which I put together by myself while working that new job. I got engaged. So it didn’t all work as planned, but I did it. It was a step.
That doesn’t mean it’s not hard, or I’m never scared, or worried or like, where is the wine and when can I go back to bed.? So I’d love it really if anyone who reads this blog would share anything: struggles, solutions, or stupid things that might make me laugh. And if you have seemingly insurmountable goals, maybe we could do it together? I’m going to dedicate the next thirty days to working to cross off as many items on my to do list as I can. I’ll post here about my struggles, solutions, and own stupidity.
My favorite song, and the one that is the theme of this journey is, Whatever it Takes…by Michael Buble. I just want to say I love him. So for the next thirty days, I’m going to keep it on repeat. If you haven’t heard it- get to you tube!
As a last, but very important note, I want to say how grateful I am that Augusten Burroughs retweeted,and favorited the link to my blog. If you read my post about him, and my cat, who is his namesake, you’d know that one of my fears was that he’d somehow see this blog and hate it. It would haven’t stopped me if he did, but I’m a billion times happier that he didn’t, and it made my day to see his retweet.
Alright, I gotta go get to work. Talk to you soon.