This is a sad story. And a ridiculous one. You have to laugh at it because of the absurdity, because of what I describe as the innovative nature of children, and because laughing at the sad and deranged is a very adaptive survival mechanism.
So anyway, the sad part is that someone I know committed murder. She didn’t do it when I still knew her. I’d like to say that I didn’t know her all that well because I certainly never would have suspected… I don’t know the details of what happened, except what was reported on Dateline, which is how my children came to know that I was in a murderer’s wedding.
To be exact, I was the maid of honor, gulp hard and harder- but like I said earlier, and let’s not forget it, I didn’t really know her that well. She is two years younger than I am, and we went to a private school for which there was no bus. Her parents paid me to drive her to school, and that’s how we became friends. And she was funny, and we used to stop on the way to school, and get breakfast which made us late on a fairly regular basis. We turned the radio up, and sang really loudly to songs like Peabo Bryson’s Beauty and the Beast, and sometimes in the afternoons, we would stop at the mall and have a bagel. It seemed like innocent fun to me. Did I mention I was the president of our high school’s chapter of Amnesty International?
When I first heard the news, it had been years since I talked to her, but I was, of course, sad for her and her family and the other family, and really everyone. Who knows what makes people do terrible things when it seems there are so many other options? I wish I had the answer to that question, and could write about that today, but I can’t, so instead I’m writing about how my daughter has become a sensationalist reporter at 12, and how she used that to further her own political agenda and get herself re-elected to student council. In the process, she willfully tarnished what was left of my reputation throughout her school. Basically, this post is an early bio of a future female president of the United States.
The conversation started after she won because she had been certain she wouldn’t get re-elected.
So Isabelle that’s awesome, how did you do it?
Well I did tell everyone that you were best friends with a murderer once.
Yeah, my English teacher wanted to know all about it.
Ok, but we weren’t best friends.
But you were her maid of honor, and my dad’s nose was on dateline.
That wasn’t your dad’s nose- he wasn’t at the altar, or on dateline. That was my nose if anyone’s ( what am I saying?!)
Well I said that you two were best friends. Mrs. Smithson wanted to know if you were still friends when the murder happened?
Isabelle, I can’t believe you…
And do you visit her in jail?
I’m going to have to go into school and straighten this out now. I think you are going to have to come with me.
But I’m going to Maddie’s birthday party, remember in Disney World.
Oh right. I almost forget my twelve year old was invited by her best friend for a week’s vacation in sunny Florida. I guess that’s what you do after you slander your mother and get re-elected to student government…it’s America, after all, so of course she’s going to Disney World….